


Pretty Heart

by schanen



Category: Pride and Prejudice & Related Fandoms, Pride and Prejudice (1995), Pride and Prejudice (2005), Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
Genre: Angel Wings, F/M, Love at First Sight, Song Lyrics, moping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-13 21:54:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29035797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schanen/pseuds/schanen
Summary: Song fic based on "Pretty Heart" by Parker McCollum: "That I could break an angel's wings, what does that say about me?" A mopey little one-shot from Mr. Bingley's perspective.
Relationships: Elizabeth Bennet & Fitzwillliam Darcy, Elizabeth Bennet & Jane Bennet, Jane Bennet & Charles Bingley, Jane Bennet/Charles Bingley
Comments: 1
Kudos: 19





	Pretty Heart

_ I didn't think I was a bad guy. I knew that you were good.  _

It started as a simple dance. Charles had already fulfilled his obligation to stand up with his host's daughter, Miss Lucas, and his sister had glared at him from her self-elected, seemingly permanent place at Darcy's side before he could open his mouth to ask her. From over his shoulder, he had heard Sir William Lucas' delicate cough. Charles had turned. Been greeted by a gaggle of local matrons and maidens. And locked eyes with her.

She was standing off to the side of the eager throng, her smile just a simple curve of her lips that had captivated him instantly. She had not pushed to the front for an introduction, but merely observed as Charles made a bumbling fool of himself trying to hold conversations with each of the five eager mothers in front of him while constantly being drawn in by her quiet presence.

He finally got the chance to make his request to her, first for her name and then for her next free dance. He could almost hear the wheels spinning in the matrons' minds but saw no gleam of triumph or glitter of calculation in her eyes as she responded favorably to both requests.

_ You were golden on the inside, and you loved me as best you could. _

And so it was every time they met. Every call, every gathering, even when she took ill, Charles felt the draw of her presence. It was a warm light, a soothing hearth after a long day. He'd do anything just to stay by her side a little longer.

Conducting the courtship was no simple matter. One thing Charles hadn't anticipated when he left town for the country was how noisy the countryside would be. The inane drawing room chatter swirled around them while he responded to her quiet questions about his childhood in Scarborough and the sights he loved most from his tour of the continent. Her polite inquiries were certainly not out of the ordinary for two young people enjoying getting to know each other, but something in her eyes made it all different. It made him feel seen, down to his deepest self that warmed at the thought of her gentle regard.

She could barely get a word in when her mother was around. Mrs. Bennet was a good woman, friendly, who took excellent care of all those who passed through her front door. Charles certainly could not fault her for that, as much as his sister tried to. When words were not possible, all Charles had to do was catch the eyes that had captivated him so much on the night they met, and she would smile that small smile just for him. Sometimes that was all he got in a quarter-hour call, but it was always more than enough. There was tenderness in that smile. Tenderness for him.

_ I was the one who dropped the ball, got you high and let you fall. _

That last night at Netherfield flickered in dreamlike quality in his memory for months. Caroline's efforts had yielded beautiful results but it had all fallen away the moment the Bennet family had walked through the door. He hadn't cared about the whispers that had followed them around the ballroom, even when those whispers had grown into audible squawking about advantageous matches. Charles knew that he was raising expectations. But he also knew that in a match between himself and Miss Bennet, he was the one with everything to gain. He would gain her kindness, her steadiness, her unfailing resolve to see the best in people against all of society's odds.

Darcy's impartial revelation at Christmas was kindness in its own way. Charles knew himself well enough to know that he had a tendency for too-hasty resolve. Had he imagined that her smiles were different just for him? Were the ball's glimmering lights clouding his judgement? For once in his life, Charles was plagued by indecision, and so he stayed away, rather than risk returning to Hertfordshire to find that the smiles he thought were just for him were merely a figment of his imagination. 

_ I let the best thing I ever had slip away. _

He realized his mistake in May, at the last ball of the season before he was set to visit his family and business interests in Scarborough. As was his habit, he'd danced every dance that night. At the final notes of the final song, he looked at the blithe, blonde woman in his arms and saw nothing in her smile, nothing in her eyes that shimmered the same way Miss Bennet's had when they danced. It was like the six months he'd spent hiding reared back and punched him all at once.

He couldn't go back now, could he? She was too perfect for any sane man to overlook. If leaving her had left a gaping wound in his heart, returning to watch her be courted by another man with the sense and backbone to do the job properly would be enough to put him six feet under. So he stayed away, out of kindness to himself.

_ What does that say about me, that I could do you like I did? _

Charles thought his heart had stopped when Miss Elizabeth told him one of the Bennet sisters had left home. Even after she'd innocently elaborated that it was the youngest Miss Bennet that was away, not the eldest, Charles could see that there was something behind her answer. Miss Elizabeth's eyes flashed a little when she'd responded, and it was then that he realized that while his angel may not have melded well with the ton's sharp tongues and cutting eyes, her sister could blend in perfectly with her talent of probing for a reaction from her conversation partners and the way she always seemed to see more than a person wanted to share.

But for all of Miss Elizabeth's skillful wordplay, her emotions still played across her features for anyone to read. The friendly regard she'd held for him in the autumn had evaporated and cool dismissiveness replaced it. She was toying with him, and Charles knew he deserved it. The only reason Miss Elizabeth would have to treat him that way would be if he had made some irreparable transgression, and he had done nothing to offend her directly. However, he had abandoned her beloved sister. If Charles knew anything for certain about the Bennet family, it was that to trespass against one sister was to damn oneself in the eyes of them all. 

No, Charles didn't blame Miss Elizabeth for her attitude one bit. 

_ That I could break an angel's wings, what does that say about me? _

If Charles hadn't already known that he had ruined the beautiful gift that God had seen fit to present him, Darcy's confession in August would have left no doubt in his mind. He couldn't blame his friend, as much as he would have liked to. Charles was his own man, and he had allowed the opinions of others to muddle what he had known to be true. 

But he ached for the pain Miss Bennet must have endured. Not only had he abandoned her of his own free will, but when she'd attempted to reconnect with him, to give him the same near-divine benefit of the doubt that she withheld from no one, she had been spurned by the very women who had pretended to be her friends. Not even her forgiving heart could take that and emerge unscathed. 

He was well and truly ruined.

Charles sent an unrepentant Caroline away, back to their extended family, and abandoned the Hursts' townhouse in favor of Darcy's London home. He didn't have the strength to refuse Darcy when his friend suggested removing to Netherfield to enjoy what sport and respite the country could offer, and didn't think until they were on their way that the whole of Meryton likely knew he was coming.  _ She _ knew he was coming.

She had no doubt forgotten him by now. All that was left to do was to attempt to maintain his composure around her and whatever suitor her mother would be doting on when he and Darcy fulfilled their neighborly duties. He would nurse his broken heart in silence, and do his best to meet his lost angel as a common and indifferent acquaintance.

_ Now that I've broke your pretty heart. _


End file.
